15 Apr

Director: Tarsem Singh

Writers: Charley Parlapanides, Vlas Parlapanides

Stars: Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke and John Hurt

Motion Picture Rating: R

Runtime: 110 minutes




I assume that the Immortals was a summer 2011 ‘blockbuster’ style release, but it definitely passed me by at that time. Unfortunately, it just caught up with me. That it didn’t derail its two key players is unjust, but the director Tarsem Singh is in cinemas now with the better marketed Mirror Mirror and its star Henry Cavill will be back soon enough with no doubt limitless marketing as the next Superman. They are lucky to have escaped this god awful film, but apparently it did well enough at the box office so what do I really know?

There is no real plot as such in this film. It’s another highly camp ‘swords and sandals’ twisting of Greek mythology and, as with its equally poor predecessors Troy, 300 and Clash of the Titans, it involves an enormous amount of CGI. So much of this film is computer generated in fact it might as well be a computer game for the Xbox. It is closest in style to 300 and it is as bloody and gory as that 2006 comic book adaptation. We get to see beheadings, disembowelling, genital crushing’s, people boiled alive and all sorts of other sport.

Besides the endless CGI violence that gets boring quickly, the sound quality of the film is poor and far too many scenes are badly under lit. Add to that Mickey Rourke’s mumblings and the nonsense plot is made even more confusing. Tarsem Singh is known for great visuals and at times with the Immortals he delivers a wow factor. Similarly hyper stylized are the costumes that are so bonkers as to bring to mind the 1980 Flash Gordon. It is, frankly, way out there and only its intended ca. 16 year old audience of boys could possibly love it.

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